Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Wrath of the Midgets

DO MIDGETS HAVE NIGHT VISION?

Now, as crazy as it might sound, it has been proven by a group of professors at King's College, London, that in fact, genetically short people, entitled as 'midgets', really do have night vision!
Astonishing and indeed surprising, one of our many followers, Julius Minimus, wrote to us stating:

"I am so very shocked to find that midgets have night vision! I'm a midget (and proud)  but I had no idea I had the ability to see in the dark! All those nights sneaking downstairs to the fridge in the dark, walking into things, really got me annoyed, not to mention the fact that I can't reach the top of the bloody fridge!!1!"

Another follower, a woman aged 33 living in Manchester, added to the long list of comments we had to filter this morning, "This is sooo unfair! Just because they're shorter they get to see in the dark!"

The news was first revealed Tuesday evening when Dr.Grayson, professor at King's College, explained that 'it is a genetic advantage to make up for their lack of height when hunting in the open fields; it's lethal.' There was l8ter a demonstration in which two fully grown midgets where seized upon and locked in a completely dark room for an hour.They were asked to get to the other side of the room without knocking into anything, quickly. This would enable Dr.Grayson to distinguish the 'night-vision midgets'. However, as the test seemed positive (both completing task), it was discovered that one of the midgets had his iPhone out so that he could use it as a torch. Tut tut...test repeated and it was succesful. Yes, I am writing a bunch of garbage and have no idea how a midget would possible be able to see in the dark, but hey, i managed to write my blog!

If you think this load of nonsense was somehow close to entertaining, I suggest you go see your doctor. If you think otherwise, or that it was a complete 'fail' as young teenagers nowadays unnecessarily tend to say, then please, tell me and I will stop this...crime...of writing daft things. Anyway, if your bored (and you should be, I mean, it is my blog) go watch some Frankie Boyle or something, that guys a legend...

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